Why didn't you welcome me (Malati) into the house?
One reason I think Vidya was not welcomed by Malati is because I feel that Malati viewed Vidya as somewhat of a threat. Vidya spoke her mind and was motivated and determined to reach goals beyond the "traditional" women roles in Indian society at the time. I believe that she didn't quite know how to react to Vidya's personality since it was so different than the personalities of other girls she probably knew. She may have never come across another young girl quite like Vidya. I also think that she viewed Vidya as competition. Malati probably wanted to be viewed as the prettiest, the most sought after by men, and the most obedient of her role as a women in society. However, I think deep down she knew that none of those things mattered to Vidya in the least, which made her angry. For these reasons, I feel that she didn't want to welcome Vidya never mind make her feel comfortable in her new home.
I would have to agree with you Jessica. I think that Malati was jealous of Vidya. Also, Vidya was going to college and Malati did not have the same opportunity. Malati was now going to be married and would have to care for her husband the traditional way that Indian women cared for their husbands. I also feel that the constant reminder that Vidya was so headstrong and motivated made Malati feel uncomfortable so she made Vidya feel uncomfortable being that house.
I think if Malati could answer this question she wouldn't be honest with others, she would keep the truth to herself. I think Malati would tell us how wonderful her life is right now. She has a caring husband and is expecting a child as well. Her house is beautiful decorated. She would tell us how excited she is about becoming a mother. Truthfully, Malati feels trapped, but will not say. She will not tell us that her husband only cares about himself and she must wait on him had and foot. Now that she is pregnant, she has a child to care for as well. She feels saddened that she will never finish school or be able to attend college. The one positive thing she is looking forward to is being able to go back home to her parents now that she is pregnant; since women who are pregnant in India go back to live with their parents throughout the pregnancy.
Responding to the first question: Why didn’t Malati welcome Vidya into the house? I agree with Jessica and Graciela, in that, I too feel that Malati envied Vidya. Vidya was changing the “role” of women in her time and was strong enough to stand up for what she believed was right. Malati believed she must follow the traditional women role and thus did not have enough courage to do as she pleased.
In response to the second question: How is Malati’s life now? I think that Malati is doing fine. She was also a strong character. Even though she did not have the same beliefs as Vidya, I believe that she also is strong-willed and will make her life what she wants it to be, even though it will still follow the traditional Indian lifestyle. In Malati’s defense, this is all she knew and maybe she was content with her decision to marry. However, I also agree with Graciela’s response. Maybe Malati does feel sad, jealous, and sorry, as she was crying when she left her house after being married. If she did feel trapped, I also feel she wouldn’t tell anyone, as she is the type of person who always has a smile on her face even though she is crying inside. I think she would brag to Vidya about her lifestyle even though deep down she wishes she could have made a different life for herself; one that maybe included college. If only, Malati could tell us...
Q: Malati, Why were you so upset when you were leaving?
A: In Malati’s words: “I was crying because I knew my life would never be the same and I would have to be a wife. Knowing all the duties a wife has, I was scared and terrified that I would not like the life that chose. I was also jealous of Vidya for making her decision to not marry and continue her education. I wish I could be as strong as Vidya, but I do not have the courage to make my own decisions, thus I’m following the traditions of my family. Soon I will be pregnant and my life will no longer be my own, as everything I do will be for my husband and our child. I was also crying because I knew that my mother will be sad and I too would miss her. We were so close and she did everything for me. Most of all, I was sadden that I was mean to Vidya and did not welcome her into our house. I regret being so mean to her at school and getting her into trouble. I was upset at myself for calling her father an idiot and not giving her a chance to be my friend. I feel terrible for the way I treated my cousin. If only I could do it over again, I would be kind to Vidya and maybe even learn from her. (If only Malati would really feel this way!)
In response to the third question, I again have to agree with Jessica M. I think Malati was crying because she knew her life would never be the same. She is going from being taken care of, to having to take care of someone else. She was also very close to her family. I can't imagine what it would be like to be separated from my family. Especially since Malati was very close with her mother. Malati could have been crying as well because she envied Vidya's freedom and her ability to stay at home and continue her education.
Answering Jessica's 1st question, "why didn't Malati welcome Vidya" I agree that Malati was probably very jealous of Vidya. Also, I think that Malati's immediate family probably had something to do with her repsonse to Vidya. We learned early on in the reading that Appa and Perriappa did not see eye to eye on how Brahmins should present themselves. I imagine that Malati heard a great deal of disapproving words about her cousin as she was growing up (particularly from her mother). She must have learned early on not to respect Vidya. When Vidya's family came to live in Madras it was seen as such an imposition that no one in the family seemed to be welcomed.
Question 8 (updated): If you had a daughter, how would you raise her? What values would you instill in her? What goals would you have for her life?
I truly think that Malati’s character had a change of heart after her marriage and upon leaving the house she grew up. Malati’s jealousy prevented her from becoming friends with Vidya. I think that Malati was able to realize what a mistake she made treating Vidya so poorly. In the scene after her wedding she was able to apologize for not being welcoming and even wished Vidya well.
I think that Malati probably changed her perpective after she left the house and began her life as a wife and mother. Although marriage was her primary goal throughout the novel, I think she probably regretted not pursuing some of the opportunities Vidya found important.
If Malati had a daughter, I think she would change her perspective of how a woman should behave in that time and culture. I think she would choose to raise her daughter more like Vidya was raised with less focus on the traditional customs. Malati would encourage her daughter to seek more for her life than being a wife and mother. She would encourage her daughter to not only finish school but also strive for higher education. Malati would raise her daughter to be a strong woman not afraid to fight for whatever she was passionate about. I think she would want her daughter to find happiness in life by being aware that her life has more options than marriage. Another value I think Malati would instill in her daughter is to be open-minded and accepting of other despite their differences. Therefore, I don’t think Malati and her daughter would treat their non-Brahmin help so poorly.
We can only hope that Malati’s husband would agree with her change of heart and allow their daughter to be raised differently than their generation.
Wow Ladies! We are really thinking! I was pondering the question about how Malati would treat her daughter (assuming she had one). Being very hopeful, I agree with Kristyn that maybe Malati would abandon her old jealous ways and teach her daughter to think for herself, pursue her own goals, and say what is on her mind. However, I think Kristyn's point about us not knowing if Malati's husband or his family would agree is an insightful one. I feel that although Malati is strong in some ways, she easily succumbs to what her elders believe is "right". If her husbands' family is not very progressive, such as Vidya's family was, I could easily see Malati's daughter fall into the same cycle that she did...even if she wanted something different for her.
I think that you are right about Malati keeping her thoughts to herself. She probably is unhappy in her life and perhaps regrets some of the choices she has made. Marriage was not what she expected and she isn't as happy as she had hoped. I do think Malati is too proud to admit this to any of her family members since she followed through with the decisions she thought she wanted. It also wasn't customary for a woman to complain about her work. I would like to think that maybe she would reach out to Vidya in their later years and be able to establish a friendship. Perhaps she would even confide her true feelings to Vidya.
Question #3 Why were you so spiteful at school? I think Malati was so spiteful to Vidya because she was worried about her reputation at school. Malati is a beautiful girl who is about to get married. She is following the customs and traditions of a young Indian girl. Then her cousin comes along with a disabled father, no money, and dreams of pursuing her education at the college level. Malati became overwhelmed by all these new changes and decided it would be easier to take out her anger and frustration at school by being malicious to Vidya. She was well liked by her teachers and peers in a way that anything she said, they would believe. She never once felt ashamed of what she did; instead it made her fell better about herself.
Question #2 Before Vidya and her family arrived, Malati was the “center of attention.” She just announced her engagement and she was getting ready for a wedding. When Vidya arrives and she is annoyed that Vidya and her family are replacing all of her attention. She is envious of this attention and she treats Vidya disrespectfully. She doesn’t want to get to know her cousin or spend any time with her.
Question #6 Malati would say her life is enjoyable. She is adjusting to her role as a wife and spending a lot of time with her new family. She would also say she misses her mother because they had such a close bond. Her last good-byes were tearful, but she has become a stronger person thanks to Vidya. Malati has picked up some books and has started reading again. She has also started keeping her own journal about her new life and dreams for a family.
Question #1 Malati was crying for several different reasons. She was crying tears of joy because she has fulfilled her duties as a young Indian girl by getting married and taking on the role of a wife. She has also, however, been crying tears of sadness because she is going to miss her everyday routines and lifestyle she has know since she was a little girl. The person she will miss the most is her mother because she had such a strong bond with her and could always count on her for advice and suggestions. Finally, she has tears of uncertainty as to what her future will be like with her new husband, family, and children.
Question #8 Malati would be thrilled to have a daughter of her own. She would enjoy forming a bond with her and teaching her some of the Indian customs. However, she also would have some new expectations and goals for her daughter. She would want her daughter to be independent in her decision-making and lifestyle. She would want her daughter to finish school and further her education at the college level. Malati would ultimately love for her to fall in love and get married, but that could happen when her daughter is older. Getting married so young was one mistake she regrets doing. Finally, Malati would like her daughter to have some of the same qualities as Vidya, such as being brave, smart, and independent.
Jessica, I enjoyed reading your take on Malati and agree with you that she felt threatened by Vidya. I also thought her entire reaction to this new situation was very immature for a girl who is about to get married. As I mentioned in my blog I think she was upset that all of the attention was being focused on Vidya and her family. Will Malati grow up? If Malati had trouble adjusting to the new changes around the house (i.e. Vidya) how will she survive being a new wife with the responsibilities of taking care of her husband and his family? Will his family welcome her, or will she be treated the way she treated Vidya?
Graciela, I thought your perspective on Malati’s life was very interesting. You viewed her new life as being dishonest and ashamed. I looked at it as a new beginning for her. A chance for her to grow up, learn from her mistakes, an maybe think about what she would want for her own children some day. If Malati has a daughter, I hope she will let her explore life to the fullest and provide her many opportunities to try new things and not stick to the traditional Indian customs.
Julie and Ladies, You raise some interesting questions! You are right, there will be a lot of changes for Malati in her new life as an Indian wife. I am not sure how she will adjust to these changes. She has certainly been taught to not complain (as mentioned above) and to be obedient. I am wondering whether she will continue being obedient of her husband and his family or if she will "break out" and speak her mind. In my opinion, I feel that she will continue to be obedient, even if she is unhappy. This has been her habit for so long and habits are hard to break, especially now when I am sure she is doing her best to impress her husband and his family and make a good impression on them.
Julie, I can totally see Malati worried about her reputation at school and that's why she was so mean to Vidya. Malati was jealous of Vidya and could not allow those feelings to go away so she had to continue being awful at school. Vidya feeling bad just gave Malati reassurance that her rudeness got to Vidya and that feeling was rewarding. It must have made her feel good that Vidya had no friends and no one really to talk to except for Raman. Vidya did not have any girlfriends, except for Rifka, but even then she needed permission to write to her. Being spiteful at school just made Malati feel better about her insecurities. That was really sad. I hope that if she could, she would change the way she treated Vidya.
Jessica, Kristyn, Graciela, and Julie: I really liked what you had to add regarding all the above questions. Everyone has their own spin on how they think Malati would answer; however, I believe we all have some hope that she will become a better person. Question 2: I have to agree with Julie, in that I too believe that Malati had to make a quick adjustment when Vidya arrived. Before Vidya and her family arrived, Malati got all the attention. Question 6: I would like to hope that Malati will change her ways and learn from her mistakes (as far as being rude to Vidya and her family). It would be nice if she moved on and matured. Also, I love the idea about the journal. What a great way to continue the story … hmmm… students could really delve deep in this reader’s response journal!
On another note, this book truly has so many levels. After reading all your responses I think it would be interesting to teach this book! What a wonderful experience it would be if all teachers would have this interaction about a book prior to teaching/using the book in their classrooms. It would definitely put a spin on things! As far as our age groups, I don’t think we’ll be using this book anytime soon, however, I have already recommended it to a couple of my friends who teach high school. I would be interested to hear what their students have to say.
HI Ladies, I agree with Jess M. that we do all hope Malati will eventually be a better person. There is hope! But, I was just thinking, that if Malati wasn't the one who was mean to Vidya, another character would have been. There are always going to be people who do not appreciate others who speak their minds and stand out amongst the crowd because of their progressive behaviors. So, although I despised the way Malati treated Vidya, if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else.
Why didn't you welcome me (Malati) into the house?
ReplyDeleteOne reason I think Vidya was not welcomed by Malati is because I feel that Malati viewed Vidya as somewhat of a threat. Vidya spoke her mind and was motivated and determined to reach goals beyond the "traditional" women roles in Indian society at the time. I believe that she didn't quite know how to react to Vidya's personality since it was so different than the personalities of other girls she probably knew. She may have never come across another young girl quite like Vidya. I also think that she viewed Vidya as competition. Malati probably wanted to be viewed as the prettiest, the most sought after by men, and the most obedient of her role as a women in society. However, I think deep down she knew that none of those things mattered to Vidya in the least, which made her angry. For these reasons, I feel that she didn't want to welcome Vidya never mind make her feel comfortable in her new home.
I would have to agree with you Jessica. I think that Malati was jealous of Vidya. Also, Vidya was going to college and Malati did not have the same opportunity. Malati was now going to be married and would have to care for her husband the traditional way that Indian women cared for their husbands. I also feel that the constant reminder that Vidya was so headstrong and motivated made Malati feel uncomfortable so she made Vidya feel uncomfortable being that house.
ReplyDeleteHow is Malati's life now?
ReplyDeleteI think if Malati could answer this question she wouldn't be honest with others, she would keep the truth to herself. I think Malati would tell us how wonderful her life is right now. She has a caring husband and is expecting a child as well. Her house is beautiful decorated. She would tell us how excited she is about becoming a mother. Truthfully, Malati feels trapped, but will not say. She will not tell us that her husband only cares about himself and she must wait on him had and foot. Now that she is pregnant, she has a child to care for as well. She feels saddened that she will never finish school or be able to attend college. The one positive thing she is looking forward to is being able to go back home to her parents now that she is pregnant; since women who are pregnant in India go back to live with their parents throughout the pregnancy.
Responding to the first question: Why didn’t Malati welcome Vidya into the house? I agree with Jessica and Graciela, in that, I too feel that Malati envied Vidya. Vidya was changing the “role” of women in her time and was strong enough to stand up for what she believed was right. Malati believed she must follow the traditional women role and thus did not have enough courage to do as she pleased.
ReplyDeleteIn response to the second question: How is Malati’s life now? I think that Malati is doing fine. She was also a strong character. Even though she did not have the same beliefs as Vidya, I believe that she also is strong-willed and will make her life what she wants it to be, even though it will still follow the traditional Indian lifestyle. In Malati’s defense, this is all she knew and maybe she was content with her decision to marry. However, I also agree with Graciela’s response. Maybe Malati does feel sad, jealous, and sorry, as she was crying when she left her house after being married. If she did feel trapped, I also feel she wouldn’t tell anyone, as she is the type of person who always has a smile on her face even though she is crying inside. I think she would brag to Vidya about her lifestyle even though deep down she wishes she could have made a different life for herself; one that maybe included college.
If only, Malati could tell us...
Q: Malati, Why were you so upset when you were leaving?
ReplyDeleteA: In Malati’s words: “I was crying because I knew my life would never be the same and I would have to be a wife. Knowing all the duties a wife has, I was scared and terrified that I would not like the life that chose. I was also jealous of Vidya for making her decision to not marry and continue her education. I wish I could be as strong as Vidya, but I do not have the courage to make my own decisions, thus I’m following the traditions of my family. Soon I will be pregnant and my life will no longer be my own, as everything I do will be for my husband and our child. I was also crying because I knew that my mother will be sad and I too would miss her. We were so close and she did everything for me. Most of all, I was sadden that I was mean to Vidya and did not welcome her into our house. I regret being so mean to her at school and getting her into trouble. I was upset at myself for calling her father an idiot and not giving her a chance to be my friend. I feel terrible for the way I treated my cousin. If only I could do it over again, I would be kind to Vidya and maybe even learn from her. (If only Malati would really feel this way!)
In response to the third question, I again have to agree with Jessica M. I think Malati was crying because she knew her life would never be the same. She is going from being taken care of, to having to take care of someone else. She was also very close to her family. I can't imagine what it would be like to be separated from my family. Especially since Malati was very close with her mother. Malati could have been crying as well because she envied Vidya's freedom and her ability to stay at home and continue her education.
ReplyDeleteAnswering Jessica's 1st question, "why didn't Malati welcome Vidya" I agree that Malati was probably very jealous of Vidya. Also, I think that Malati's immediate family probably had something to do with her repsonse to Vidya. We learned early on in the reading that Appa and Perriappa did not see eye to eye on how Brahmins should present themselves. I imagine that Malati heard a great deal of disapproving words about her cousin as she was growing up (particularly from her mother). She must have learned early on not to respect Vidya. When Vidya's family came to live in Madras it was seen as such an imposition that no one in the family seemed to be welcomed.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 8 (updated): If you had a daughter, how would you raise her? What values would you instill in her? What goals would you have for her life?
ReplyDeleteI truly think that Malati’s character had a change of heart after her marriage and upon leaving the house she grew up. Malati’s jealousy prevented her from becoming friends with Vidya. I think that Malati was able to realize what a mistake she made treating Vidya so poorly. In the scene after her wedding she was able to apologize for not being welcoming and even wished Vidya well.
I think that Malati probably changed her perpective after she left the house and began her life as a wife and mother. Although marriage was her primary goal throughout the novel, I think she probably regretted not pursuing some of the opportunities Vidya found important.
If Malati had a daughter, I think she would change her perspective of how a woman should behave in that time and culture. I think she would choose to raise her daughter more like Vidya was raised with less focus on the traditional customs. Malati would encourage her daughter to seek more for her life than being a wife and mother. She would encourage her daughter to not only finish school but also strive for higher education. Malati would raise her daughter to be a strong woman not afraid to fight for whatever she was passionate about. I think she would want her daughter to find happiness in life by being aware that her life has more options than marriage. Another value I think Malati would instill in her daughter is to be open-minded and accepting of other despite their differences. Therefore, I don’t think Malati and her daughter would treat their non-Brahmin help so poorly.
We can only hope that Malati’s husband would agree with her change of heart and allow their daughter to be raised differently than their generation.
Wow Ladies! We are really thinking! I was pondering the question about how Malati would treat her daughter (assuming she had one). Being very hopeful, I agree with Kristyn that maybe Malati would abandon her old jealous ways and teach her daughter to think for herself, pursue her own goals, and say what is on her mind. However, I think Kristyn's point about us not knowing if Malati's husband or his family would agree is an insightful one. I feel that although Malati is strong in some ways, she easily succumbs to what her elders believe is "right". If her husbands' family is not very progressive, such as Vidya's family was, I could easily see Malati's daughter fall into the same cycle that she did...even if she wanted something different for her.
ReplyDeleteGraciela (Q: How is Malati's life now?),
ReplyDeleteI think that you are right about Malati keeping her thoughts to herself. She probably is unhappy in her life and perhaps regrets some of the choices she has made. Marriage was not what she expected and she isn't as happy as she had hoped. I do think Malati is too proud to admit this to any of her family members since she followed through with the decisions she thought she wanted. It also wasn't customary for a woman to complain about her work. I would like to think that maybe she would reach out to Vidya in their later years and be able to establish a friendship. Perhaps she would even confide her true feelings to Vidya.
Question #3 Why were you so spiteful at school?
ReplyDeleteI think Malati was so spiteful to Vidya because she was worried about her reputation at school. Malati is a beautiful girl who is about to get married. She is following the customs and traditions of a young Indian girl. Then her cousin comes along with a disabled father, no money, and dreams of pursuing her education at the college level. Malati became overwhelmed by all these new changes and decided it would be easier to take out her anger and frustration at school by being malicious to Vidya. She was well liked by her teachers and peers in a way that anything she said, they would believe. She never once felt ashamed of what she did; instead it made her fell better about herself.
Question #2
ReplyDeleteBefore Vidya and her family arrived, Malati was the “center of attention.” She just announced her engagement and she was getting ready for a wedding. When Vidya arrives and she is annoyed that Vidya and her family are replacing all of her attention. She is envious of this attention and she treats Vidya disrespectfully. She doesn’t want to get to know her cousin or spend any time with her.
Question #6
Malati would say her life is enjoyable. She is adjusting to her role as a wife and spending a lot of time with her new family. She would also say she misses her mother because they had such a close bond. Her last good-byes were tearful, but she has become a stronger person thanks to Vidya. Malati has picked up some books and has started reading again. She has also started keeping her own journal about her new life and dreams for a family.
Question #1
Malati was crying for several different reasons. She was crying tears of joy because she has fulfilled her duties as a young Indian girl by getting married and taking on the role of a wife. She has also, however, been crying tears of sadness because she is going to miss her everyday routines and lifestyle she has know since she was a little girl. The person she will miss the most is her mother because she had such a strong bond with her and could always count on her for advice and suggestions. Finally, she has tears of uncertainty as to what her future will be like with her new husband, family, and children.
Question #8
Malati would be thrilled to have a daughter of her own. She would enjoy forming a bond with her and teaching her some of the Indian customs. However, she also would have some new expectations and goals for her daughter. She would want her daughter to be independent in her decision-making and lifestyle. She would want her daughter to finish school and further her education at the college level. Malati would ultimately love for her to fall in love and get married, but that could happen when her daughter is older. Getting married so young was one mistake she regrets doing. Finally, Malati would like her daughter to have some of the same qualities as Vidya, such as being brave, smart, and independent.
Jessica, I enjoyed reading your take on Malati and agree with you that she felt threatened by Vidya. I also thought her entire reaction to this new situation was very immature for a girl who is about to get married. As I mentioned in my blog I think she was upset that all of the attention was being focused on Vidya and her family. Will Malati grow up? If Malati had trouble adjusting to the new changes around the house (i.e. Vidya) how will she survive being a new wife with the responsibilities of taking care of her husband and his family? Will his family welcome her, or will she be treated the way she treated Vidya?
ReplyDeleteGraciela, I thought your perspective on Malati’s life was very interesting. You viewed her new life as being dishonest and ashamed. I looked at it as a new beginning for her. A chance for her to grow up, learn from her mistakes, an maybe think about what she would want for her own children some day. If Malati has a daughter, I hope she will let her explore life to the fullest and provide her many opportunities to try new things and not stick to the traditional Indian customs.
ReplyDeleteJulie and Ladies,
ReplyDeleteYou raise some interesting questions! You are right, there will be a lot of changes for Malati in her new life as an Indian wife. I am not sure how she will adjust to these changes. She has certainly been taught to not complain (as mentioned above) and to be obedient. I am wondering whether she will continue being obedient of her husband and his family or if she will "break out" and speak her mind. In my opinion, I feel that she will continue to be obedient, even if she is unhappy. This has been her habit for so long and habits are hard to break, especially now when I am sure she is doing her best to impress her husband and his family and make a good impression on them.
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI can totally see Malati worried about her reputation at school and that's why she was so mean to Vidya. Malati was jealous of Vidya and could not allow those feelings to go away so she had to continue being awful at school. Vidya feeling bad just gave Malati reassurance that her rudeness got to Vidya and that feeling was rewarding. It must have made her feel good that Vidya had no friends and no one really to talk to except for Raman. Vidya did not have any girlfriends, except for Rifka, but even then she needed permission to write to her.
Being spiteful at school just made Malati feel better about her insecurities. That was really sad. I hope that if she could, she would change the way she treated Vidya.
Jessica, Kristyn, Graciela, and Julie: I really liked what you had to add regarding all the above questions. Everyone has their own spin on how they think Malati would answer; however, I believe we all have some hope that she will become a better person.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 2: I have to agree with Julie, in that I too believe that Malati had to make a quick adjustment when Vidya arrived. Before Vidya and her family arrived, Malati got all the attention.
Question 6: I would like to hope that Malati will change her ways and learn from her mistakes (as far as being rude to Vidya and her family). It would be nice if she moved on and matured. Also, I love the idea about the journal. What a great way to continue the story … hmmm… students could really delve deep in this reader’s response journal!
On another note, this book truly has so many levels. After reading all your responses I think it would be interesting to teach this book! What a wonderful experience it would be if all teachers would have this interaction about a book prior to teaching/using the book in their classrooms. It would definitely put a spin on things! As far as our age groups, I don’t think we’ll be using this book anytime soon, however, I have already recommended it to a couple of my friends who teach high school. I would be interested to hear what their students have to say.
HI Ladies,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jess M. that we do all hope Malati will eventually be a better person. There is hope! But, I was just thinking, that if Malati wasn't the one who was mean to Vidya, another character would have been. There are always going to be people who do not appreciate others who speak their minds and stand out amongst the crowd because of their progressive behaviors. So, although I despised the way Malati treated Vidya, if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else.